The Dating Conundrum

Title Goes Here
…no easy puzzle.

She broke up with her ex after five months due to compatibility issues, I mean they communicated regularly on phone before they started dating, but of course, we all know that can be deceptive, especially when it comes to what she called compatibility issues – which is not even related to character flaws. Oh, I really liked her at the time, haha, that’s by the way, anyway, I, in my reporters’ garb wanted to know all the details having just run into her of recent, and my conclusion was she didn’t really get to know the guy before dating him and that’s a mistake we all have probably made at some point in our lives due to ‘emotions’.


So some thorny things popped out of the staircase-divide interaction [that’s another story entirely 😀 ]  – can we really know someone (I think that’s probably no, depends on the perspective), if the essence of dating then is to get to know someone, should we try to know the person before dating them (I was of the opinion we should), what’s dating and what’s courtship [pause] – lemme dwell on this a little, I used to have a little confusion about those two words, but I gave it a personal resolution which may not be what someone else believes. I believe they are both the same depending on the user and context, [rewind] according to my friend, ‘Mito, dating is just trying to get to know each other with no intention to marry, while courtship starts after a guy proposes with a ring (or not). So I had to ask her what ‘engagement’ was, and we had to open dictionaries on our phones (thanks to technology), I think her courtship theory was immediately disproved. I am not arguing. People date for many reasons – sex, physical or emotional validation, money, pressures, etc – if I want to date someone though, it has to be someone I know or feel I can marry, someone damn special, I mean, why ‘hook up’ with someone I know I’m not attracted to or can’t possibly marry (deep down we always know). Marriage is the end game for me, not that it is guaranteed mind you, but that’s the intention, which is the definition of courtship. So do i tell a lady I wanna date or court you? Yeah, courtship sounds all prim and proper, and dating has been abused, by the way ‘dating’ is again different from having a ‘date’ or going on a ‘date’ with someone [one of my good pals, can testify to that, lmao, he had a really bad experience as regards those two words], ‘dates’ happen without ‘dating’.


Peeps, even till after marriage, we are still learning about each other, but the crux is should we get to know a person (their character) before dating them [is it even relevant in the ever dynamic realities of a relationship?] if the essence of dating is still to get to know them. I say yes, you can’t just start dating every Tom and Harry or Annie and Lisa without establishing some basic compatibility link [on the lighter side while I’m not an ardent believer, I still look up zodiac traits], else one keeps ‘hooking up’ and ‘breaking up’ every five months which is, in my opinion, pointless. Someone may argue that’s the essence of dating, so that one can eventually choose the right person, hmph, according to me though, that’s a load of stringy crap. As pertaining to relationships, the strings of thoughts could go on, for instance, for how long do I get to know the person (be friends?) before I start to date them (your decision), and let them understand we ain’t dating yet (just tell ’em, haha), et cetera, that’s why it’s a conundrum. Tschau

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4 thoughts on “The Dating Conundrum

  1. I completely do not agree with you! I mean…the whole essence of dating is getting to know someone. You said it, we know it. So to me, it’s just silent dating if you try to learn about the person before “openly dating” the person. Both still dating.
    Unless, after the (your) pre-dating period, you get engaged. No?

    I do understand you tho, trying to establish that you don’t just hop on the dating train with just anyone you meet. But c’m on! No one immediately dates someone at exact first meet all the time. You probably see Female1 in class and like her to want to date her (learnt knowledge – she attends classes), or you see her often in your street (learnt knowledge – she lives close by and hangouts with friends or has a lovely smile)…… Lol
    I know it’s little compared to what you mean, but I don’t know if you get me. All I’m saying is people speculate and then date. While dating (maybe after first date or second) they confirm their assumptions and choose to either make their date into spouse or just friends. I mean, it’s not everyone one you take out you call your girlfriend yea?

    My opinion tho and I know you totally disagree too.😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. #chuckles
      …well, at least you underlined ‘getting to them even if a little’ despite assumptions, even though the so-called ‘learnt knowledge’ in the instances above seem so childish and superficial, I mean, so frigging what??? haha…now ‘little’ to different individuals might mean different things (subjectivity) – two dates, months? …yeah, I inferred the ‘little’ but I suppose you meant that #grins…I mean, okay, let’s bury this right now, Oluchi, you are sweet, fun, and cool and, most importantly, you passed by my blog space a couple of times…be my girlfriend, no? #tongueout

      Like

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