Being Me Sucks?

New age geisha

So here I was in the middle of the night, more like early morning now anyway, and what was I doing? Watching a movie series…now before you judge me, I enjoy living at night, lol…and it proved to be a great inspiration – Empire. Okay, wait a min, I ain’t here to talk about Empire, but you know, as a writer, one draws inspiration from all kinds…especially the kind that resonates with one’s heart and head maybe. I was gonna make this a Facebook post, maybe I’ll still post it – “It ain’t easy living right [depends on what an individual sees as right anyway], one’s person right or justice may be another’s wrong or injustice, now I wanna live right [whatever I determine that to be and in accordance with my religious convictions], but the society right from birth teaches one all kind of  wrong…hopefully, some day I’m gonna get it all right like so many people out there can relate with [religious affiliations asides].”

Most times, we run away from our true self, okay, really, some people have to do, though I wouldn’t call them anomalies [most of ’em]…but an average human being hides from himself and the world and lies to himself and the world…like hey! can’t we all be realistic? I guess not. Of course, we can be diplomatic and reasonable, but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do our part, we can’t do everybody’s part, we’d crash and burn and lose our identity at the end of the day…a lil’ something I picked from the Toltecs.

Now Empire teaches a lot of things, most importantly power and its manipulations, but one of its sub-themes I like is the projection of true-self using music as an expression of our inner world and conflicts, something artistes, especially Nigerian artistes of today have thrown in the bin all for fame and money…money rules the world yeah? Bullshit music. But that’s just me saying what I feel, read a friend’s post of recent about Nigerian music and ‘adulting’ and about not caring about the lyrics, he’s all for leaving the norm and constricting adult world and dancing like some drunk hanging on a pole – shakiti bobo and the rest of ‘em. Well, that’s him/them doing their ‘part’ and I’m just doing my ‘part’ too _. Just thinking about this post, I feel some hypocrisy in my thoughts,  but hey I’m saying them all…’cos when I say true self, we are talking criminals, gays, murderers, rapists, and the likes…did I say I wasn’t gonna call them anomalies, I take that back, they are. But they’re doing their ‘part’ and we can’t really live in an utopia anyway…like so many people’d lose their jobs! Lol. #forreal…I have nothing against gays, but it ain’t natural [else they both should produce their kids and it ain’t biblical or Islamic [tho’ Christianity seems to have multifaceted strummers #shrugs].

I don’t wanna stray away from the real purpose of this blog, the point is, if people were a lot more of themselves, some [not all] of the societal problems we have might be gotten rid of, from the family to our schools, we are thought to think in a box mostly, be classified in a box, and probably die in a box [which is true anyway], when we are kids we have no inhibitions, but as we grow, we learn the world doesn’t like or need the real us, so we fit in or try to, else we are classified in one of the boxes, a less favourable, but probably the realest box ever. We all think power, fame, money, respect…don’t get me  wrong y’all, they’re all nice and cool…but what about ‘you’ without the selfishness, cruelty, hatred, grudge, control-instinct? How about love, a lil’ more love and some more love? If everybody did love, not some fake-ass love, y’all know what I’m talking about…real unexpecting love, selfless, rare…wouldn’t the world be a better place?


Of course, we live in a diseased world, but we don’t have to be another of the agents spreading the viruses…it might seem little, but little drops they say make a mighty ocean. Check your motives, check your motivation, and check you. We have all been conditioned by fears, failure, insecurity, broken hearts, amongst many real and abstract factors, that we think we’re being us, when in reality we are just puppets in the hands of some external forces which we have imbibed. Discard all the fears and the rest, and you’ll discover the real you waiting to soar with no inhibitions and not caring an inch! Okay, now I remember something which is just by the way, someone said I laugh too much (t’was a real normal informal setting), though I really don’t laugh that much [and maybe I do #shrugs], probably the situation was real funny, and she found me weird, decided I was a joker, and killed a friendship, yeahhh, she killed a friendship…but hey, better to laugh than cry yeah? and why wouldn’t someone want me to laugh especially since it wasn’t in mockery or the like, I’d rather be me and laugh when I feel like, if someone asides my boss maybe, lol, has a problem with that, for real yo, the door’s damn open. I’m gonna laugh when I wanna do, cry when I want to, scream when I want, stay silent when I want, (note though, as a normal human being I wouldn’t wanna scream in a board meeting, lol), as long as it make me me and happy and comfy. The point is, if I stopped doing that just to please ‘the world’, then I might as well stop being me and just take someone else’s identity, which is what mostly abounds today; and that’s why you find people having different ‘characters’ in different places, like nigga/lassie, who the heck are you…pick one and be it.

Everyone’s unique, you don’t have to be someone else, you don’t have to please the world, if you believe in a higher being, you’re accountable to him/her and his/her precepts (which of course takes care of earthly governments), be you, be happy, you have a right to be happy and no one has to teach you what makes you happy, you know this deep within you…so like a sunflower, bloom and add some sun-shine to the world! I’d rather be me…than you…because y’all can never be me! I’m learning everyday to be me in a good way and to keep loving genuinely, nothing can beat love, not even hope or faith.

“I confess that I have been as blind as a mole, but it is better to learn wisdom late than never to learn it at all.” Sherlock Holmes’ The Man with the Twisted Lips



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