courtesy: google
courtesy: google

Have you ever wondered how you came in contact with some people? I mean, are there random connections or we meet people for a purpose? Now, this conundrum popped into my mind few days back due to the singular reason that I met a girl I really like and ‘connect’ with on a popular social network. This is not the first time I’m gonna experience something like this – by that I mean – meet someone, connect for a while, connection fizzles out, disconnection, end of story. and I’d like to assume this not only happens to me. Unless am some kind of alien from Saturn. So then, is there a reason why we meet people, do our paths cross for nought, is it the choices we make or our thoughts that influence what kind of people we meet and how that ‘connection’ plays out, is there a role for people who meet to play in each other’s life or development, or are some meetings or contacts just as random as drops of snowflakes? whao! That seems to be an helluva load of philosophical questions. I’m not a Philosopher, though I did study a little of Philosophy – Fallacies, Logic, etc, and I won’t be treating this from a philosophical perspective, though comments from philosophers would be cool. 🙂

So, are we predestined to meet people or they are just coincidences with no relative order or purpose? Funny enough, I intimated my new cute friend about this thought of mine and she gave her lovely take which was that we meet people for a purpose and not by chance, even if or when we drift apart everyone who comes into our life has a thing to give or take. Really though I gotta say I always try to make a positive impact in the lives of people around me, tho’ half of it I botch up too…I’m not perfect duuurrrrh!!! But the intent to make a positive impact is there, and according to the common aphorism, “It’s the intent that always counts”…just a flimsy excuse for ‘silliness’.

Friends – romantic or otherwise, relations, acquintances, colleagues, and the whole lot of other people we meet, is there really a purpose why we come in contact with them. Imagine the heartbreaks of lovers, betrayals, jealousy amongst relations, power jostles among colleagues and the various back stabbing, are these predestined, coincidences, or do we put ourselves into that awful shithole? Can’t remember where I read this (kinda annoying not to right now), it was funny at that time tho’, that we make choices …now I remember!! Gotcha! From “A Journey in Self-Discovery” by John Harricharan (e-edition): You chose the country, the period of history, your parents and even your friends. You made an agreement prior to your birth. The agreement took place at levels that you don’t consciously remember. But the higher self of you, the self which knows me well, understands and remembers (120). So in essence, the author says we are predestined to meet the people we do. Now it was funny because I must have been high on some Marijuana for me to have chosen Nigeria as my country! *grins*…that’s in a jovial manner. Nigeria is blessed, and tho’ she frustrates, I love her all the same.

Someone said, whatever happens in our life is only for good even if it hurts, some people teach us some lesson and move on, while some stay with us a longer, and some forever – for every season there is a reason. In trying to research a little, most people feel that we don’t meet by chance or coincidence and our lives is usually guided by some synchronous turn of events which can be a large, medium or small scale. well, not really gonna go into a detailed expatiation of that. 🙂 Now, life is really beautiful, only that we don’t take time to find the beauty in it, every event has to a large extent been predestined, even an atheist should not have a problem with  this…the wars, turmoil, are all for a purpose, only we choose not to search for that purpose. Let’s not get into wars and deaths right now.

At times we have this feeling someone is gonna be important in our life, most times they tend to be – for better or worse, and at times, we’re just dead wrong. There are theories about a ‘red thread’ – “An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break“. Well, it seems I and we have to believe we are (pre)destined to meet the people in our lives and it is for a purpose, it is now left to us to make choices which might boost or negate that purpose. So the next time you meet someone my dear friends, it ain’t just a coincidence (I think).*smiles* Still wondering if all who we meet are actually supposed to be met, and this has nothing to do with choice, some people just pop up in our lives (by chance) to be a pest (I also think) and we can’t seem to shake them off, predestined too? *chuckles*

Allow me drop this before I take my leave today, at times, we feel like we have unfinished business(es) with someone, that might hold some water or be total bullocks – so be wise – unfinished business(es) can be positive or otherwise. Furthermore, this  idea  of right time, wrong person and wrong time right person is actually a load of crap…we only feel that way ‘cos we fail to see the bigger picture, we feel we have it all matched up and if it doesn’t go our way, we automatically view it as lost time or person, it isn’t so. it’s high time we grew up and see the positives in every wrong and right. I mean, I have never viewed my last relationship as a wrong person, wrong time (‘cos in my case, that would only be appropriate) *chuckles*…I have never for once regretted it – I learnt,  and I’d probably do it all over again, if my heart so says.

Watch out for ‘Turmoils of being in Love – I, dude’ series. And go read my poem at, drop a comment.



  1. Very interesting piece I must confess, tho’ I do not totally agree with your predestination argument. I feel that the predestination theory, disallows the individual from keeping an open mind in relationships, and as a person I feel predestination allows you to put up with bullshit, believing that there is some lesson to be learnt. I’ll rather go for the ” life lessons are constant but people are various” perspective . it helps me sleep better at night. Nice work keep it up brother.


    1. I too see predestination as so much BS. If predestination exists, then what is the essence of choice or is choice then an illusion. I rather believe that we make the future, one individual act at a time. There might be an overall purpose guiding or positioning the conglomerate of actions to a specific end though.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. my dad always says that people get the chance to choose their friends, we’re only ‘stuck’ with family :), that’s on a lighter note, but really even though we can choose who we want to be friends with, a large number of times, they come our way through predestination which might at times seem like coincidences …if not, why do we meet particular people at particular places, why were we even there at that point in time…there are over 7 billion people on earth, well we sure can’t meet every single one of them, so the few or many people we get to meet in our lifetime is not much of a choice but rather a divinely planned occurrence. Well predestination doesn’t disallow you from keeping an open mind and you don’t always have to put up with whatever, it rather helps us attach value and learn all we can or maybe move away if it’s not suitable…I must say, choice isn’t an illusion, it definitely exists, but then if you have no options on ground, how then can you make a choice? sincerely, we really can’t make much of this seeming controversy but I believe it remains that to everything and everyone, there is a purpose…
    …sorry for the epistle 🙂


  3. *chuckles* like old times: Automaton and Jaska…well, since Hawk basically agrees with me, lol…lemme address the gentlemen, first I’d like to point out the infinitesimality of your existence, so don’t go feeling like the world would cease to exist without you. That said, predestination doesn’t necessarily take away choice and ‘an open mind’…in fact, it enhances your concept of ‘open mind’ Mr Spock…but think about it, how you come in contact with most people, you think it’s choice? And predestination doesn’t say you have to be stuck with BS, you learn from everyone: positive or negative, so basically we nearly on the same page…Mr Scott, pay attention, Spock dinna necessarily say ‘predestination was BS’…and if you tell me it’s BS, that means you also don’t believe in an alternate ‘spirit universe’ which reflects our existence (sure you und’stand what I mean)…y’know, when you talk about choices, does one decide to have cancer, or die in the hands of Boko Haram…of course, am not debating the fact that we make choices like: hanging oneself, sleeping with a prostitute and contacting HIV, etc. Buh I’d rather say predestination supercedes choice…though like you said and which I agree, individual acts go a long way in determining our ‘predestination’ (casestudy: Jabez). If you believe however that there is ‘an overall purpose guiding [our actions]'(paraphrasing), what is that if not predestination Mr Scott? Our choices then guides us to the ‘end’ after predestination has occurred.

    *chuckles* Hawk, you must be wondering. (Gist ya) Lol. Anyways, seems I echoed some of your words. Your dad is a wise man, but then who is a ‘friend’ and who is ‘family’…that’s another blog entirely! Lolzzz …my point is, we re stuck only if we want to be. Predestination = family. Choice = choosing to be part of a family.


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